Fire
by thefangirlslair
Summary: His voiced cracked a little but continued, "I promise to choose our child." Touka breathed an almost mute 'thank you' until she heard him again. "But not without putting up a goddamn fight," Kaneki declared, his gaze steady and determined on Touka. "I will always fight for you, Touka." [A Touken One-Shot]


A/N: This is my very first fic written, so please bear with me. This is a work of fiction so I hope you understand if ever there is flaw with the plot with regards to the original source which is the manga itself. There might be grammatical errors as well so sorry in advance. Please, if ever you're just a hater of this ship or the fandom or Ishida or just life in general, leave the premises, thank you. Hahaha!

This is actually made just for myself coz I want to. So y'all actually can't do anything about this shit. Lol. But I wanted to share this to my co-shippers because I'm a bit proud with this one and this is my first. This is how I would want and have imagined the story will go, if only I was Ishida-sensei. But I trust him tremendously. I love that man. He made our OTP canon as fuck! Fucking hell yes!

Finished this after 7hrs and a few hours before the next chapter, this is how I imagine would happen after Chapter 130. Enjoy and thank you for reading! I would love to hear your comments and suggestions. Love lots! Xo

* * *

 **FIRE**

If there's one word to describe his feeling, it's definitely this: fire. He feels like his whole body, heart and soul are burning in a hot, blaring fire. Kaneki never really felt like this before. Not until he saw what happened to Touka.

The said girl is sitting with her head down, obviously in pain. She's clutching her right arm with her left hand and biting her lip to supress her groan because of her injuries. Fortunately, she only got few cuts in her arms, legs and face. But she hit her head while dodging her opponent's attack so she feels a little dizzy.

Kaneki continues to seethe internally so he wouldn't have to take his anger on Touka in full force. They're in his room in their base at the underground located at the 24th ward.

—–  
After the fight, he immediately took Touka's unconscious body to escape the scene. He didn't want to risk being found by the back-up teams heading their way. He took a little damage since his body can't heal properly but he managed to carry Touka all the way to their base, even in his worried state. He almost thought Touka's dead while holding her in his arms. He felt so helpless and scared for her life. He had never felt so weak.

Entering their base, they were immediately surrounded by few Goat members including Tsukiyama, Nishio, Naki and Miza. Hirako also went up to them to check what happened. He shouted to ask if someone could check on Touka's condition while laying her somewhere safe. He was ushered away by Tsukiyama to check on his head for there is a slight gash on the side of it, bleeding slightly. Tsukiyama tend to his wounds and he silently welcome the sting of it while never taking his eyes off Touka being treated by Nishio.

Nishio quickly went to her side and checked her limp form. He was a pharmaceutical student, but he knows a few things about medical stuff, thanks to his human ex-girlfriend, Kimi. He noticed that there was a quite deep wound in her right arm and few cuts and bruises all over her arms and face. Her legs have bruises and cuts too but nothing deep and serious. He checked for broken bones and discovered none. Other than that, there's nothing to worry about. He cleaned the wounds and put bandages on them, and told Kaneki that she would be fine. She probably lost consciousness because of her current body condition.

A forbidden image of Touka receiving what she asked of him comes to mind. He remembered his curiosity when she asked him to buy human food. But then, it's not his place to ask questions so he did what she asked. Besides, she asked him quite nicely. That was unusual of her. He told Kaneki that Touka was just exhausted and probably wake up in a few hours. He did not tell him anything else.

Kaneki breathed a sigh of relief. He immediately picked up Touka and carried her all the way to his room where he laid her down on his bed. He knows that Touka is strong. Hell, she's one of the strongest people he ever met in his life and it's not just as a ghoul, but as a person. Her personality and her whole being just screams braveness. But the fear of losing her because of his incapability to protect her overwhelms him every time. He's the One Eyed King and yet, he still can't protect the ones he care about; the ones who depend on him; the ones he love.

—–  
Seeing her right now, finally awake and looking down while hiding her pain from him, infuriated him more. Only God knows if it's at Mutsuki who's the sole reason of all this, at Touka because she's as reckless as him, or at himself for being such an idiot. He should've burned the report regarding Yoriko's death sentence. He knew it was wrong that he kept it from Touka but he just wanted her to be able to take care of herself. Especially now that he's aware of her condition. She haven't said a thing about it but he already have his suspicions right after his talk with Nishio, and it further strengthened when he saw her calendar and was literally thrown out of her room.

Kaneki stopped pacing back and forth and just focused on Touka. He wanted to say a lot of things. But his current burning feeling doesn't help. Instead he quietly said, "You scared me."

He finally saw Touka lift her head and their eyes locked. Her wide, suprised ones to his fearful and angry orbs. Slowly, his gaze went from her eyes down to her nose, and lips, and chin. His eyes roaming around her face, noticing purple bruises and ugly cuts on her cheeks and the corner of her lip. His gaze slowly going down, down, down; to her neck, her chest and her arms. Her long sleeved shirt and her tights were torn all over the place when he carried her so when Nishio finished her bandages and they're in his room, he took off her torn shirt and her ripped tights and gently put her in his white t-shirt. It was too big for her so it covered half of her body, ending just in the middle of her thighs.

If not in their current situation and his mild rage inside him, he would've been aroused by her image – her hair messed up, her eyes wide drinking him in, her lips a pinkish color beside the small bruise on the corner of her mouth.

Touka in his clothes.

He committed this image to memory to think about when he misses her, a few rooms away from him every night. But his eyes flew to her thighs and saw cuts, her knee scraped, and a gash on her leg. He saw her consciously try to conceal them from his eyes and he saw her writhe in pain from moving. Her whole body aches and it can be seen clearly from her face. His anger went on another level. Touka clutching her deeply wounded arm did not help at all.

He continued, saying his words a little louder because of anger, with his voice a bit shaky and breathy at once, "You fucking scared me, Touka-chan."

He lessen the blow of his remark with that suffix following her name but inside he wanted to scream. And it's already evident in his voice when he continued to speak.

"How could you risk your life like that? How could you follow me knowing that it would be dangerous? How could you fight Aura in your condition?! Do you know how frightened I was when I saw you there?! I knew you were right here, safe and sound, and suddenly you appeared there and didn't think about yourself! You should've trusted me! I know I could save Yoriko myse-"

At that remark, he saw Touka's eyes flashed with anger and suddenly Kaneki's heart lurched. He have never seen her this way before and his words got stuck in his throat until he heard her talk.

"Yoriko is my friend," Touka said with her voice hushed laced with venom. Directing her eyes back at Kaneki's, she continued, "Do you expect me to just sit here and wait for her to die? Do you expect me to just watch until the news of her death suddenly break me?" Her voice cracked a little, and Kaneki felt his heart did too.

"And what about you? Do you expect me to just do nothing while you risk your life? Alone? For fuck's sake, Kaneki! Why do you always do this to yourself?!" Her eyes suddenly filled with angry and frustrated tears. Her voice dropped down a few notch until it's almost like an anguished whisper, "Why do you always do this to me?"

Kaneki stood there, feeling his anger wane a little, but the fire remains. Whether it's the fire of rage or fire of fear or maybe the fire of love, he doesn't even know anymore. All he could see is Touka's tears starting to form in her eyes, staring defiantly at him. His heart dropped as a tear did as well, spilling across her injured cheek.

He always thought Furuta and his games will be the death of him. Maybe his hunger or his recklessness. But now he realized that perhaps Touka's tears will be his ultimate demise.

She took a deep breath and wiped away the tear from her cheek. She composed herself before opening her mouth to speak, "I know it was reckless. And I know you only meant good. But she is important to me and I would do everything I can to save her. You would've done the same if you were in my shoes."

And then she added quietly, "I would've done the same thing over and over again.. just like I would if you were taken away by anyone."

He put his hand over his heart by then, feeling like something squeezed it. Kaneki continues to stand there across from her sitting form, a few feet away from his bed. His anger being replaced by shame, longing and exhaustion. He wanted to gather her in her arms to console her for not being able to take Yoriko away.

—–  
Yoriko was never there in their meeting place. Mutsuki told him that he should go to the chateau as Mutsuki will break out Yoriko from the CCG headquarters, then bring her there to prove Mutsuki's loyalty to him. He knew it was a trap but he was desperate to help Touka's friend. For Touka's sake. He knew how important Yoriko was to her. He was such an idiot for believing Mutsuki. When he got there, Mutsuki was there waiting for him. That's when he knew he fucked up miserably.

They were fighting for a while then and it was evident that he got the upper hand until he sensed another force coming from behind and it was Shinsanpei Aura, a few feet from him and ready to strike with his quinque. Kaneki got distracted and Mutsuki used this as an opportunity to attack him. He blocked Mutsuki's attempt and was struggling to dodge Aura's quinque when shock gripped his whole body completely.

And that's when Touka appeared behind him to block Aura's attack. She managed to block Aura with her kagune and counter-attacked with her close combat skills. Kaneki didn't have the chance to see Touka and Aura's fight for he was busy with his own fight with Mutsuki but he was shaking the entire time, desperate to knock Mutsuki out to get him and Touka away from there.

After a few minutes of fighting, he was finally able to disarm Mutsuki of his quinque and damage his kagune. Mutsuki was lying down, knocked out from their battle. If Tsukiyama was there with him, he would've told him to kill Mutsuki and not just leave him be. Hell, his right hand man would probably kill Mutsuki himself.

But as torn as he was whether to do it or not, he did not have the time for that. His mind was occupied by Touka who was facing Aura, a very cunning opponent, and they're nowhere to be found. Kaneki went cold all over.

He quickly searched around the area and scanned it frantically. His heart thumping wildly and his mind giving him possible scenarios of what happened to Touka are making him shake uncontrollably. Then, he stopped midway his frantic running and saw a body.

It's obvious that its left arm was twisted and broken. A small puddle of blood pooling under it and the stench of it filled his nostrils. He fought the hunger and swallowed his fear. He ran closer to it when he recognized it as Aura's bloody limp form. It was slumped a few meters away from Touka's unmoving body and that's when he saw her.

That's when he knew he fucked up more than he did before.

He wanted to kill Aura right then and there but knowing that Touka is more important, he dismissed his initial reaction and took his Touka in his arms. Besides, Touka took care of Aura already, evident with his broken arms and perhaps spilled organs. He's either dead or nearly dead. He doesn't give a single fuck.

 _That's my girl_ , Kaneki thought. Pride, fear and love swelling inside him. He's taking them home.

 _We're going home, Touka-chan._

—–  
And now, as he stood there in front of Touka, with her looking at him the way as he was looking at her, he thank whoever it was to be thanked for because she's alive. She's here. She's safe.

Kaneki walked the little distance between them and kneels in front of her. She looks down on him as he raise his eyes on hers. He whispers, "I'm sorry."

Tears starts to form again in her eyes. He raises his hand and use his thumb to wipe them away as they spill along her wounded face. Touka closed her eyes and cried silently.

"I know I should've told you," Kaneki said, his hands still on her face. He wanted to kiss her tears away so bad. But first, they need to talk. "But you should've told me, too."

Touka opened her eyes then. She starts to say, "There was no time and you were already gone so I-"

He immediately cut her off, "I'm not.. talking about.. that."

A long silence ensued. They're both looking at each other without uttering any word. Touka opened her mouth a few times, only to close them. Kaneki patiently waited for her to gather her thoughts and speak.

After a few minutes, Touka looked down and bit her lip. She was clearly avoiding his eyes.

Kaneki struggled to keep his smile. _She's so cute_ , he can't help but think.

"I guess you knew when you saw my calendar."

He smirked a bit, "Actually, it was when Nishio-senpai told me."

Touka looked at him abruptly and angrily retorted, "What?! Four-Eyes told you?!" She struggled to get up but Kaneki, still kneeling in front of her, gripped her hands and put his arms on the sides of her thighs to keep her from standing up.

"You're not in the right condition, Touka-chan," he said, softly. Suddenly amused, he realized that his anger is finally gone and he actually find their situation quite amusing and endearing.

But Touka obviously don't think so.

"Oh, I still have strength to kick his damn ass! I'm gonna kick them so hard he'd need another glasses coz I will shove it together up in his butt," Touka furiously remarked while still struggling under his grip. Kaneki couldn't help but chuckle.

Touka heard this and turned her attention to Kaneki, her intention of kicking Nishiki's ass slowly being turned towards the white haired man kneeling in front of her.

"Why are you laughing?", she asked, her teeth gritted.

"I can't let you do that," Kaneki told her. He's keeping his face neutral, for his sake. "I can't let you roam around our base looking like a feast for every man's eyes. I won't."

The girl stopped struggling and just looked at him. She looked down at her attire. He saw how her face changed from an angry shade of red because of her pissed off attitude to a deep glow of pink because of shame.

 _She's so fucking beautiful_ , Kaneki thought with a skip of a heartbeat.

He couldn't take it anymore. He stood up and pushed Touka down his bed gently. She wanted to struggle but Kaneki hovered over her and she felt like the cat got her tongue.

Kaneki smiled softly at her and he gently lay down beside her. His left arm went under her nape to wound around so he could grip her shoulder, his right snakes around her waist and gently tug her body against his. Her face is red now, and Kaneki put his head a few inches from hers. He never knew Touka can be shy.

Of all the times they were alone, whether talking or doing unspeakable things to each other (which is really not often, to his dissapointment and relief at once), she was always the one who initiates it. And to be honest, he doesn't mind at all. He secretly likes it. Besides, Touka is really far decisive than he is. She's fierce, and passionate, and wild, and sweet, and everything good in this world. If she wants to do something, she will do it. Fuck the consequences. It may be her biggest flaw, but to Kaneki, it's what makes her Touka. And he loves her for that alone. Her beautiful face, and her more beautiful body, and her most beautiful heart are just another extra bonus. A big, fat one at that.

He continues to stare at her face, relishing the quiet around them.

 _I missed you. I missed this_ , Kaneki thought to himself.

As if she heard his thoughts, she blurted out a hushed "What?" She tried to sound annoyed, but her blushing face says something else.

Kaneki patiently smiled at her, "We should talk. We could've avoided all this if we did this a little sooner."

Touka silently looked at him, then nodded. "I thought so, too." She laughed a bit and added, "We're so stubborn, you and I."

Kaneki couldn't agree more. Because of their situation with their food and the issue with Furuta's plans above ground, plus their plans on the counter-attack, Kaneki doesn't have the time to talk to Touka and check on how she's doing. They barely see each other and the only reminder he has of her is her sweet scent, the feel of her body pressed against him, and her parents' ring now wrapped around his neck by a silver chain.

Touka is eyeing the said ring while she said, "I didn't want you to worry too much about me. I know you have a lot on your plate right now. And I cannot be much of help. I can't burden you with another thing."

She said it really softly that if he was not paying his full attention, he would've missed it entirely.

"Why do you think you are a burden, Touka-chan?", he asked her. He cannot believe Touka would think like that about herself. She have never been so wrong.

"I'm afraid, Kaneki," she admitted. Her fingers unconsciously toying with her parents' ring. "I'm afraid of what's to come. What if this situation will be used against you? What if this pregnancy fails?"

Her fingers stopped fiddling with the ring and she splayed her hand against his chest. She looked at his eyes, fearful and sad at once.

"What if I don't make it?"

His grip on her body automatically went tighter. "Don't," he half shouted, half whispered. "Don't even think about it."

"But what if, Kaneki? We don't know what's gonna happen. We don't know if this baby needs a human food or what," Touka cried. Tears started to form again and this time, they're the scared kind. "I don't know what to do. I don't-"

Kaneki abruptly cut her words with his mouth. He kissed her lips, tasted tears and love and sweet, sweet Touka. He kissed her cheek, her wounds on them, her nose, her eyes. Everywhere his lips could reach. He could hear her quiet sobs and he doesn't know how to ease her pain but he's trying. God, he's trying.

He buried his face in her neck, his hands rubbing her shoulders and her back as she quietly cries. Her hands now grip his shirt between their bodies, he could feel her shaking.

He continues to soothe her as much as he can. He couldn't even imagine how hard must it be for her. All he could do is just be there for her.

After a few moments, she visibly relaxes. He turn his face towards her face and see her looking at him, tears drying on her perfect face.

 _Beautiful_ , he thought.

And it was not enough just to think about it so he told her, "You're so beautiful, Touka Kirishima."

She closes her eyes and smile. And when she opened them, her hands went to his face, tracing his eyebrows, down to his nose and lips. He puckered his lips to kiss them.

"I lost everything important in my life already," he started. His gaze never leaving her.

"My dad at first. Then my mother. After being with my auntie and her family, I lost that too. I lost my whole family. I had Hide and then I became a ghoul. I thought it was a punishment. Because I knew I might lose Hide along the way because of it. And I did. I lost Hide. My bestfriend in the whole world, and I lost him. And I've never felt so alone. So lonely.

Then Anteiku. I was angry and scared when I became a ghoul. But Yoshimura-san's solemn face made me at peace. I was happy for a while, being with all of you there. Only to be taken away from all of you after the raid. I felt angry towards myself again, for I wasn't able to protect everyone I care about.

Then I became a Dove. I had friends there, Suzuya for one. And I got my so-called parents, Akira and Arima. My Quinx. The moody Urie, the shy Mutsuki, the sweet Saiko.. And the kind Shirazu. And I lost them all. Shirazu who I wasn't able to see before he died; Tooru who went to a terrible path; Juuzuo, Urie and Yonebayashi who I haven't seen for such a long time and probably sent to hunt me down and kill me; Akira who I lost as I lost Haise; and Arima, my only father figure that I had, who died in my arms. I lost them all.

And now, recently, the :re cafe. You worked so hard for that cafe, Touka-chan. Just to wait for me to come home. To you. And I lost it too. We lost it."

Memories and feelings flooded him. His heart hurt remembering all these people and all these things that happened to him. His life really is a tragedy.

But every time his eyes fall on Touka, something blooms inside him.

Hope.

"But you're still here. With me," he tells Touka. His hand caressing her face, soothing her injuries. His arm wounded around her shoulders slowly tracing her bones with his fingers. His eyes roaming around her face, committing everything to his memory.

His hand stopped on the junction between her shoulders and neck, his thumb moving rhythmically. "I won't lose you again, Touka. I can't lose you."

His emotions started to grip him powerfully at once, "I can't lose you, too."

He closed his eyes and felt hot tears spill on the left side of his face, tiny drops obvious on his white pillowcase.

He can feel Touka's eyes on him. Then a split second passed and her arms are around him, his arms immediately doing the same, his body desperate for the comfort of her arms and her heart.

They cried together for a while. Because that's what you do for the one you love. You don't do anything alone. No I, no me. Always us. Always together. Always.

Kaneki loosen his grip on her after a moment then takes her face in his hands, "We can do this, Touka-chan. You and me, together."

He looked down below at her stomach. Feelings of fear, anticipation and love overwhelms him.

 _That's my child right there_ , he mused in his thoughts. _My own flesh and blood. Touka and I's child._

 _Ours._

He looks back at her, "I'll do my best to protect you. Protect you both. I'll make our future safe. I won't fail you, Touka-chan."

"Kaneki," Touka stated. His heart hurts just by seeing her like this. He waited for what she's gonna say next.

"Promise me one thing," she whispered. Her voice soft but determined. Her eyes wet but steady on his. "Whatever happens, save the baby."

Kaneki stopped breathing. "What are you saying? How ca-"

"Promise me!" Touka urged him. She's hurting him and she knows it, but she wants to make sure the safety of her child. Their child. "Please, Kaneki."

She's asking him to choose their child if it ever comes to that point. That means he would lose her. He wouldn't want that. He can't take that. He might as well just die.

But knowing Touka, she might resent him when they meet in the afterlife, if ever there is one. And he can't take that as well.

The thought of leaving a mark in this world, in that case, his child, is a pretty exhilarating idea. Knowing that his child will be there to witness the world he fought hard to create and protect. A world where humans and ghouls live together in peace. He will do everything in his power to achieve that goal.

Looking at her, he sees endless possibilities. And knowing that one day, he might not see her again; hold her like this again and kiss her senseless again – he made a promise to her and to himself.

"I won't stop," he started slowly. "Never, until my goal is achieved. And if there may come a time that I have to choose between you and our child.."

His voiced cracked a little but continued, "I promise to choose our child."

Touka breathed an almost mute 'thank you' until she heard him again.

"But not without putting up a goddamn fight," Kaneki declared, his gaze steady and determined on Touka. "I will always fight for you, Touka."

She was breathless. His eyes are full of fire and determination that it took Touka's breath away. Her heart skipped a beat.

 _I love you so much_ , she thought to herself. _You're so brave, my love._

Kaneki saw her eyes flash, full of unsaid feelings. He thinks he must look the same for there are words unspilled in his mouth. He can't contain them anymore.

"I love you," he quietly mused. He looked at her and saw her staring with shock. It's the first time he said it and it just felt so right. "I love you, Touka Kirishima. I love you so much like my heart could burst."

 _There, it's out,_ he breathed a sigh of relief. _What will she say? Does she feel the same? Nah, I don't care if she doesn't. I just wanna say it out loud. She doesn't have to answer now, I could wai-_

"I love you too," she murmured. She's looking down on the ring around his neck. She's licking and biting her lips nervously. A slight blush creeping on her wounded cheeks.

After and despite all the heavy burdens they threw out of their chests, he smiled. A big, goofy one. She loves him, and he couldn't ask for anything better.

Touka saw this expression and said, "What's with that annoying face?"

She didn't seem annoyed, she's more like trying to be annoyed. It's hard when his cute smile is right in front of her. Meanwhile, Kaneki feels like a real king.

"Nothing," he answered happily. She chuckled under her breath and felt his body shake with mirth as well. They're so weird. Crying, then laughing the next second. Perfect for each other.

Kaneki kissed her then. He kissed her like it's gonna be the last time. They both know there are too many problems to solve, and friends to save, and plans to create. But right now, they kiss. They kiss and they love. And it would be enough, even just for right now.

Kaneki's kissing Touka's neck, hearing her softly moan against his ear, making him shudder because of too much pleasure and love. At this rate, they're gonna end up banging each other's brains out. But Touka's injured condition may not take that. So Kaneki needs to stop this before he forgets her wounded form and pounce on her. It's so hard especially when his hand is already gripping her exposed thighs and he could see her underwear because his shirt she's wearing just rode up. He's losing it.

 _Think!_ Kaneki pressed on his thoughts as he kisses her mouth, drinking her sighs as he stroke inside with his tongue.

 _Fuck, think you idiot!_

He suddenly thought of something and he knows he's gonna be in trouble for saying this but he had no choice.

He broke the kiss and breathed out, "What about Nishio-senpai? What are you gonna do about him?"

He haven't told Touka that Nishio didn't even tell him directly that she's pregnant. He just hinted at it but well, Kaneki's desperate now.

 _Sorry, Nishio-senpai._

Touka looked taken aback at first because they were making out when he blurts this shit out. She immediately thought of the four-eyed bastard and seethed under her breath, "Oh he's gonna be in trouble. I can't believe he told you I'm pregnant. I haven't told anyone. Not even Hinami or Ayato."

"What did you just say?! And what the hell is this?!" a loud voice suddenly came into the room.

Kaneki stood up abruptly and saw a very mad, very fuming Yomo in front of them, his face contorted in anger.

Touka and Kaneki looked at each other worriedly. Kaneki actually looked a little green. Yomo is either angry at the both of them because Touka is pregnant, or because he saw them barely making out like teenagers with raging hormones. Touka thinks it's the former plus the fact that she was injured, the latter appealed to Kaneki more.

 _Well,_ Kaneki thinks to himself. _At least Touka is safe from me. She's still in no condition to be made love to._

But looking back at Yomo and his very angry face made him doubt his choices in life. Especially the choice to refuse his desire for the love of his life and the choice to use his Nishio-senpai as a cover to save his girl from his hormones.

Eitherway, karma is real.

 _One Eyed King or not_ , Kaneki thought to himself. _You're still an idiot._


End file.
